Yay for birth stories!

I have heard the awesome comparison that birth stories are like war stories, every woman that has one, loves to share it. I am no exception. I am a birth story freak! I love to tell and listen to them, every mothers is so very different.

With my son, it was an induced labor. I was dilated 4 cm two days before his due date, and having miserable regular contractions. My doctor was finally kind enough to put me out of my misery and induce me. I cried. I didn't want to be induced, but knew that it was probably best.

Little tidbit about Kate- I am 5'2" and because of complications from birth control I gained a large amount of weight in a very short time and had some minor health complications because of it. So to put it simply, I'm short and slightly over-weight. I have very little room to hold a baby so I carry those suckers WAY out front. I love the miracle of pregnancy, and get sappy at the miracle of life, but my friends, towards the end... I become a crazy, psychotic, miserable, crying beast, and struggle to be patient for baby to come.

Back on track... I was torn over being induced, my psyche and body were ready... baby boy was just taking his sweet time, so I finally came to terms. I had a quite pleasant induced labor of 6 hours and one of those heavenly ( in my opinion ) epidurals, then little Noah was here.

It's safe to say that the second time around it felt all too familiar, with some new twists. I thoroughly enjoyed the misery, but by 37 weeks, and at that time I again was about 4 cm dilated and 70% effaced, I was SOOO ready to have that baby. at 37 1/2 weeks I was on my hands and knees scrubbing every rug in my mothers house, cleaning everything in sight, eating copious amounts of eggplant and parking WAY out in parking lots all in attempts to go into labor. Just like with my first, nothing worked.

Finally a couple nights later while enjoying some sweet episodes of Lost, I noticed that I was having intense Braxton Hicks exactly 10 minutes apart. I timed them for a good 2 hours... nothing changed. I decided to take a night time stroll with my mom, hoping that IF I was in labor that it might kick start it into gear. Nothing changed. I went home and went to bed, STILL timing the stupid Braxton Hicks. In the morning I woke up with not so much as tightening. I was so mad. So I went downstairs to continue watching Lost.

I had not more than sat down when out of the clear blue came a very painful contraction, suddenly another one came five minutes later. If I were a sane human, I would have thought, yup, I'm in labor, but I'm not. I sat there experiencing increasingly painful contractions every 3-4 minutes for over an HOUR just to make sure, before I even woke my husband up.

By the time I decided it would be a good idea to wake up my husband, I knew we had to get to the hospital fast. He got up, we got all the last minute things into the hospital bag, packed a bag for my son so my mom could come and get him. As I'm getting ready to get into the car my husband decides to ask if he could take a shower.... men... needless to say, I didn't let him take a shower.

We drove to the hospital in silence (at least I think it was silent, I was preoccupied) while I tried to breath through contractions that I was just certain were going to tear me in half. When we got to the hospital I was dilated to an 8. IT WENT FAST! that simple.

Timeline:

8:30am- first contraction

9:30am- wake up Jordan & Noah

10:30am- at hospital, dilated to 9cm, I get a partial spinal because there's no time for an epidural

11:17am- after three pushes during ONE contraction, Aurora May Adams is born.

Yeah... it went fast

 And she's here.

Noah meets Rory

Time for an update.

This blog has been quiet for over a year! Why you ask... Because I have been extremely busy learning how to be a mother to two human beings.

If you have read any of my previous posts you know that I was one of those littler girls who dreamed of being a mother since I was born, and my road to motherhood was less thank ideal. If you HAVEN'T read my previous posts, well then... I have dreamed of being a mom since I was born, and my road to motherhood was less than ideal... my husband and I tried for nearly two years to conceive and eventually underwent fertility treatments before becoming pregnant with our precious son Noah. Then when he was three months old, we very surprisingly became pregnant with out beautiful daughter Aurora. That was quite the blessing in disguise since we had been previously plagued with infertility. We were ten weeks pregnant before we even knew we were expecting again and Rory joined us two weeks early at a healthy 7 lbs 12 oz. It was clear that a higher power knew it was time for her to join our family, and join it in a hurry.

Never in my wildest dreams did I know that my most desperate desire would be my biggest struggle. Mother is the most prestigious and heavy title I have ever had the honor of bearing. It's been a shock, but in the best of ways.

Before I had children, everything I did was selfish, I had no one to worry about but myself. I am astounded that every move I now make is aimed at the well being of someone else. Every grocery I buy is intended for little mouths, I gladly go without so that they may have. I spend hours on my knees praying for little spirits. Every news article I read suddenly becomes personal because "what if it were my kids." I have never worried more in my life for another human being. I often feel like a failure simply because I was not able to stop accidents from happening or tears from falling.

I remember every Sunday as a child, my brothers and I would ask "are we going to church today?" Not once was the answer no. In youth I didn't value the gospel as I do now. It was just something we did. Now I know why the answer was always yes, we are going to church. Nothing weighs heavier on my shoulders than knowing that it is my job to get these special spirits back to my Father in Heaven. It is my job as their mother to teach them and help them to have he understanding and desire to live life in a manner so that we can all be together for eternity. My heart breaks at the idea of not being with them for eternity, and failing at such an important task.

To build, create, and carry another human being within myself is the most powerful, and life changing experience I have had. I feel as though I am so strong and yet so weak. I can do amazing things and step over every physically boundary to protect and care for my children, yet I find myself crying almost everyday for them, every frown tears me apart inside, but I wouldn't change anything for a minute. Every smile and giggle far outweighs any pain I have felt. The warm touch and smell of my baby's  skin makes me forget any of the heart ache. Every second spent with them is a second not wasted.

Learning to be a mother has been a whole body consumption and changed me for the better, I only pray that I will always continue to learn and adapt... and hopefully find time to update my blog every now and again. :)

The Amazing Medical Adventures of Noah Daniel.

Just in case you don't know, a new born baby requires a lot of visits to the doctor. A couple visits while in the hospital, then at 5 days old, then at 2 weeks old, again at 4 weeks old and then at 2 months, 4 months, 6 months... etc. Most people would see enough of their pediatrician in the first year of their baby's life to last a life time, but no, not me! By now I should be on a first name basis with Noah's doctor.

In case you missed my last blog, Noah has had a problem with spitting up, and had to have two extra visits just to monitor his weight gain. He's now in the 12th percentile! YAY!!! Outside of those extra visits we had to see an ear, nose, and throat specialist to check on the internal situation with Noah's micro cleft. We wanted to make sure that his palate and nasal cavity were fully formed, and closed.

Lucky for us the news from the specialist was good. Noah's nasal cavity and palate are absolutely perfect. However due to the slight nasal deformation from the micro cleft his septum will likely become deviated and he will probably need surgery at about age 14... isn't he lucky... other than that nothing NEEDS to be done. We do have the option of minor plastic surgery to fix his Vermillion Border when he is about two. For those of you who don't know what a Vermillion Border is, don't feel bad, I didn't either. These blogs are slowly become a dictionary lesson. Today's words are Vermillion Border!

ver·mil·ion border

noun \vər-ˈmil-yən-\  : the exposed pink or reddish margin of a lip.

So this:

Now as if the multiple doctors visits aren't enough, Noah's spitting up issue has been getting worse, and he has been inconsolably fussy majority of the time that he is awake. He has also developed a lovely little umbilical hernia, this just never ends, so we scheduled yet another visit with his doctor to talk about the worsening projectile vomiting and his belly button bump.

The doctor immediately scheduled an appointment at the hospital for Noah to have an ultrasound. Why, you ask, because he was concerned about a little thing called Pyloric Stenosis. Pyloric Stenosis is when the valve going from the stomach to the intestines (the Pyloric Valve) becomes thick and food has a hard time travelling from the stomach to the intestines, which causes a swollen stomach, and projectile vomiting. It is more common in males than females and even more common in first born males for some reason. It can only be corrected through surgery.

So of course a very nervous me headed over to mountain view hospital for our infant son to have an ultra sound. He had to come on an empty stomach so he was already cranky. We got him on the table and I had a bottled made up for him because he had to be eating during the ultrasound so the technician could see how liquid was moving from his stomach into his intestines.

As he was being poked and prodded with the ultrasound wand he was becoming very irritated and wiggly, which I can understand makes the techs job very difficult. This particular tech was a (I think) middle eastern man probably in his fifties and wasn't very patient with my wiggly 7 week old. After Noah finished his bottle, the man instructed me to make him another bottle and feed him until his stomach was completely full. A tiny baby has a tiny stomach, so a few sips in to the second bottle, Noah was done, but began to fuss at the constant poking on his full belly, so the man kept insisting we continue to feed him to quiet him up.

At his wishes we reluctantly tried to feed him more, but my poor baby's belly was becoming full and sticking out over his little diaper, and began to get more and more fussy. After about the fifth time the man insisted we feed him more, I was getting pretty irate. My baby was overly full, uncomfortable, and confused and this you-know-what man was so inconvenienced by his wiggling that he was trying to force us to make him MORE uncomfortable. After almost an hour of fussing and heart wrenching "why are you doing this to me" looks, my poor little boy was so worn out that he completely crashed on the table, and the man was finally pleased and finished his work and by the grace of god, my nails stayed away from his eyes.

After the nightmare was over we did find out that he doesn't have Pyloric Stenosis. He likely has a little bug or possibly mild reflux, but nothing too threatening. I have pretty much decided that I am becoming the human encyclopedia of random things that can possibly happen to your baby, so feel free to access me any time you feel the need.

Reflections.

How quickly they change :(

 A few hours old

Four weeks later.



Here we are four weeks later. If you haven't noticed, I'm a bit sentimental, and every Sunday when I look at the clock I think "oh it's noon! This time four weeks ago I was waist deep in labor and had just had my epidural!"

As the weeks go by, I am amazed at how quickly Noah is changing. He will sit for a minute or so on his own when propped up, he can hold his own head up for several minutes, and he is awake for a good chunk of the day now... where did me tiny baby go? What a bittersweet feeling. There is nothing more satisfying than watching him grow, change, and progress. At the same time, I am not ready for my 7 pound newborn to be growing up yet.

Here in week four of our new lives, I am finally feeling normal. The traumas of his birth are now a distant memory and I find I know longer linger on the scary aspects of the weeks past.

While we were so fortunate that labor and delivery truly went amazingly smooth, just like anything else in life, it was not without trials.

The scariest moment of Noah's birth came when I started pushing. It was such a short period. I only pushed through one contraction before his head was emerging, so it took literally minutes for him to arrive, in fact I had to stop pushing for quite some time while the nurses prepared everything, and the doctor got ready because no one expected him to come so quickly. However, as soon as I started pushing the nurses noticed distress. After the first push I was immediately put on oxygen in hopes that it would keep his heart rate up.

With the oxygen being a success, our little miracle was born. In those first few minutes I shook with adrenaline as I heard the doctors and nurses speak. My heart dropped when he was born and the nurses were shocked to see the cord wrapped twice around his neck. To this day the thought makes me a little nauseous. I have heard babies be still born with the cord wrapped once, but for me.. twice was unheard of. Angels had been watching out for my son.

The nurses whisked him away to be cleaned off. I finally heard his sweet little cry for the first time, then I heard the nurse mention something about a cleft lip, then the doctor replied "He has a cleft lip?" and again the nausea... On further inspection his lip and palate where whole, but he does have a microform cleft. In other words, when he was just a small embryo he was developing a cleft lip. Amazingly as he continued to grow the cleft closed and healed itself, free surgery! He now has a simply charming birthmark on his lip where his amazing little body healed a potential birth defect, you go baby Noah!

So much potential for danger and we managed to skate through every flaming hoop unaffected. How truly blessed are we? Now four weeks later he is growing, changing, and bringing joy to his family everyday. Even his little head is in perfect condition now.

Speaking of his head, here is a nice little tidbit for moms to be...

Noah was born with nice big bump on his head. When he came home it was black and blue and HUGE, it was about the size of half a naval orange on top of his tiny head. It was soft and swollen, and did I mention it was quite large? I understand that squeezing through a tiny hole is pretty challenging, so I wasn't much concerned about it, until it was almost time for his two week check up and it was still there as huge as ever.

Me being the morbid worrier I am, worried myself sick thinking it was like his brain poking through the little bony plates in his head (I get it from my mother, I swear!) So at his two week check I brought it to the doctors attention. Him being the good guy he is didn't laugh in my overly worried face like he should have, but very gently told me the medical term for what it was, and exactly what that meant and when it would go away... so for anyone wondering, this is exactly what he explained to me.

This squishy swollen orange sized bump is called a Hematoma (I believe there are a couple different types depending on where they are on the head) A Hematoma is when there is trauma to the head during birth. Generally it happens when the baby comes through the birth canal too quickly. There are membranes that cover the little bony plates in a newborns head. A Hematoma happens when those membranes are ruptured causing blood to pool over the plate lines. It could take several weeks for the blood to reabsorb and the hematoma to go away. In some cases the blood will calcify meaning the hematoma doesn't really go away, but in those cases, as the child grows the bump usually becomes less noticeable. Even though the hematoma is a nasty little injury that is pretty uncommon, it is pretty much harmless. The biggest worry for a child with a hematoma is jaundice. For some reason this injury raises the chance of a baby having problems with jaundice.

So if you or anyone you know experience this, you can confidently reassure them that the baby's brain is in proper position in his head, and not poking out where it shouldn't be. I'm still shaking my head at myself.

And now you know!!

One Month Later.

This month has been nothing but one huge learning experience. Everyone kept telling us what an adjustment parenthood would be, and how it would completely change our lives. While that's true, we both have agreed that it feels like we have had Noah forever. Even though it feels like he belongs here, that doesn't mean that life as new parents has been easy, here are our adventures of month one.

Adventure number 1- Spitting up.

Our first week home with baby was probably as close to bliss as life with a newborn can be. Besides the no sleep thing, life was going smoothly. After the first week is when the spitting up started. I mean not just the occasional little bit of spit up, but up to two ounces after every feeding. I have had half digested breast milk projectiled across my shirt and splash all over my neck, I call it my new mom perfume. Concern number one was that he is not getting enough nutrients. After I expressed my concerns about the situation to Noah's doctor at his two week check, we were told to bring him back in a week to monitor his weight gain because he was a few ounces short of where the doctor had wanted him to be. The next week he had gained almost 10 oz, which is a good sign that he is at least getting something. He is still only in the 10th percentile for weight, but the doctor was pleased with our efforts at fattening him up, so good news there. Yes the spitting up is ridiculously inconvenient, I'm doing at least two loads of laundry every day if not more, but the hardest part for me has been the fact that I can't candidly cuddle my baby whenever I feel like it. Holding my son now takes preparation and several burp rags and often frustration, and I feel like I am being robbed of precious moments with him.

Adventure number 2- Gas.

Unfortunately this is the main cause of our poor little guys spitting up, and many sleepless nights with a VERY fussy dude.

Dear gas... go to hell! Sincerely, Katie.

Adventure number 3- Doctors visits.

Seriously, this poor babe has had more doctors visits in the whole one month of his life than some people have in years.  It seems like every other day is some appointment. From regular check up's, extra weight checks, and already a visit to the ear doctor. First I have to say I love his GP. At first when we were looking into choosing a doctor for him I was adamant that it be a pediatrician because I felt like that would be the obvious best choice for a child, but my parents suggested their family doctor. After hearing their stories of how gifted he truly is, I gave in, and I must say that I'm glad I did, he's great at listening to my dumb worries and quieting my fears. The greatest appointment so far has been to the ear specialist. We were referred after Noah failed his hearing test in his left ear at birth. We spent an hour or so fighting a fussy baby trying to keep wires in his ears and electrodes on his head, that was fun, and after all was said and done, we were relieved to find out that he has perfect hearing in both ears and he probably simply had some amniotic fluid caught in his ear at birth that had caused him to fail the initial test.

Adventure number 4- Emotions.

I will be the first to admit that I am the most anxious, emotional, sorry excuse for a human and having a baby has magnified the shortcoming of mine to the extreme. The first week was the hardest with my hormones changing so drastically, I was an emotional hot mess. As time has gone by I have slowly evened out a bit more and feel better everyday, the unfortunate part is that a crying baby on top of pretty gnarly fatigue has made for a weepy Katie.

With all of that said here is some advice that I can share with anyone who needs it:

Take any minute for yourself that you can, it's probably literally a minute, but it aids in sanity.

USE YOUR RESOURCES! Seriously, if someone offers to help, accept it.

Don't try to be super mom, who cares if there are dishes in the sink, I drove myself crazy trying to do it all.

Take your time.

It takes at least an extra hour to get out of the house with a baby, give yourself the extra time.

Take extras everywhere you go, that means change of clothes, diapers, wipes, blankets, pacifiers... EVERYTHING!

Kiss those sweet cheeks every chance you get, they might not always let you, and maybe it's just me, but cuddles and kisses make me feel better.

Don't carry the load yourself, your man is a parent as much as you are, make him share the duty.


there's my limited wisdom, if anyone has an advice for me as a new mother, I SERIOUSLY appreciate it, let's exchange, especially any tips to help gas and spitting up!

Motherhood.

It's been a while since I blogged, mostly because I spend every waking second for three weeks trying to put myself in labor. In case any expecting mothers are curious, eggplant, pineapple, walking, bouncing, spicy food, or any other silly natural induction technique is absolute nonsense.

Noah Daniel Adams was born on May 13, Mother's Day, at 3:52 pm. He weighed 7 lbs 4 oz and was 21 inches long.

 He is our angel!

 His Hawaiian shirt, just like grandpa Jay's

 He has a full head of blond hair.

 He loves his binkie!

 Noah and Grandpa Jay

 Lewis loves to stare at him

.

I was convinced that this little sweetheart was at LEAST 8 pounds. In the last few weeks of pregnancy I felt beyond enormous. I spent weeks trying every technique in the book to go into labor. It probably helped considering that at my last doctors appointment, which was the Tuesday before he was born, I was dilated to about a 3 and effaced around 70%, but this little guy just didn't want to come. In desperation I asked to have my membranes stripped, but since I was already showing signs of early labor and had been progressing on my own, the doctor decided that if I had not gone into labor by Sunday, he would just induce me. I was a little bummed, I was hoping to have the full experience and go into labor on my own, but in the end I would have my little man no matter what.

So Sunday rolled around with a still heavily pregnant Katie. At 7:00 in the morning we were hospital bound. I got all settled in, I was already dilated to a 4 by then. They started me in pit around 9:00 in the morning and by 10:00 I was dilated to 6 centimeters and SO ready for that fabulous epidural. Unfortunately I was third in line for the good stuff, and had the opportunity to labor naturally for a few hours, which in retrospect was probably a good experience for me, but at the time I was not enjoying it.

After about 15 minutes of pushing, our little man was here. I remember the beautiful moment that the doctor laid him on my stomach and I was finally able to touch his warm skin. I was shaking with adrenaline and trying not to sob with joy. They got him all cleaned up and finally handed him back to me. Jordan held my hand and we had our first moment as a real family, the greatest moment of my entire existence!


Now I must admit that I feel very sentimental about our life before Noah, and there are times that I wish I had savored a little more. I miss feeling him inside of me. His kicks and hiccups and being so close, I wish I had been less concerned with going into labor the last few weeks of my pregnancy, and I wish I had just enjoyed it. I now realize that my next pregnancy won't be the same. Everything was so magical. I was able to take my time, relax, and spend all of my time dreaming about my baby, and rubbing my belly, and most of all, just being with Jordan. The next time I'm pregnant I will be busy tending to Noah, which is okay, it will be it's own kind of magical I'm sure, but I do miss the special days of my pregnancy past.

Even though I miss our lazy days of being just a couple, parenthood suits Jordan and I. I knew I wanted to be a mother since well... for as long as I can remember, and Jordan has always wanted kids, but I definitely feel that I was the one pushing to have one now, Jordan just said sure because he wanted kids, and I wanted them now so why not. I worried often that maybe he was just doing it to make me happy, but as I see him with our son, I know how wrong I was.

I teased him just today about how I ruined him. When we met he was this super stud that played drums in a band, drove a sweet old Cadillac Deville, and didn't have a care in the world. Then he met me and I turned him into a dad. In all seriousness tho, he couldn't be a better father. I catch him just staring at Noah and telling him how handsome he is, and putting all of that blonde hair into a Mohawk.

When Jordan turned 18 he decided to try to find his birth mom. Not that he has ever been unhappy with his parents, he has just always felt this hole in his heart, and wondered about her. After failed attempts to find her he has been hurting. The day we brought the baby home he told me that that hole had now been filled. I cry thinking about how special it is for him to have someone that is his own blood (literally, since Noah has his blood type) and I am so happy that we get to be a family and that Noah is blessed enough to have so many people around him that love him as much as we do. Heavenly father must love us, to have blessed us so fully with our son.

Home Stretch!

If I had one word to describe the third trimester of pregnancy, it would be exhaustion! There are new symptoms everyday. I sleep less and less every night, I continue to get bigger when I'm certain my belly can't possibly stretch another millimeter, my hips ache every second and each step is stupidly painful, I ALWAYS have heartburn and there is NO relief, and so far the worst are my emotions. I have become this crazy ball of emotion, everything is a big deal. Traffic sets me off, I cry with even the most minor of frustrations, and I bawl when I'm happy.

The worst part about the every growing state of being miserable is that, whether it be to my mom or to my husband, if I complain at all, their reply to me is "hey, you wanted this." Like wanting a baby makes the pregnancy any more enjoyable. Don't get me wrong, I actually like being pregnant, but I like it because I know what the end result will be, and that makes it worth it, however, it does not make my enormous girth and aching EVERYTHING easy.

On the plus side, there are many more memorable, and in my opinion hilarious, things happening now. Just this morning I was in a rage because my purse fell off of the table spilling it's contents all over the floor, so I angrily squatted down picking everything up just to realize I was stuck in that position. Jordan came out of the bathroom wondering what all the fuss was about, finding me squatted down with a scowl on my face because I couldn't get up. It's funny now, of course. I also love being able to watch my son move, and I can already see that he has his own little personality. He is a listener and stops moving whenever I or Jordan are talking. He also has an attitude, if I rest my arm on my belly he will continually kick at it until I move it, I guess we know who runs the show here.

With all of the complaints I have had about the pain, and the suspended state of feeling awkward, I have come to realize that I truly will miss it when he's born. I love every little hiccup, and the sound of his heartbeat, and knowing that I can keep him safe. I just don't want to say that out loud and make him think that it's okay to take his time coming into this world. There are six weeks left until my due date and three weeks left until he's full term, so hopefully he comes before he's made it to a heart 10 lbs, I'm SO ready to meet this little guy.