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.I was convinced that this little sweetheart was at LEAST 8 pounds. In the last few weeks of pregnancy I felt beyond enormous. I spent weeks trying every technique in the book to go into labor. It probably helped considering that at my last doctors appointment, which was the Tuesday before he was born, I was dilated to about a 3 and effaced around 70%, but this little guy just didn't want to come. In desperation I asked to have my membranes stripped, but since I was already showing signs of early labor and had been progressing on my own, the doctor decided that if I had not gone into labor by Sunday, he would just induce me. I was a little bummed, I was hoping to have the full experience and go into labor on my own, but in the end I would have my little man no matter what.
So Sunday rolled around with a still heavily pregnant Katie. At 7:00 in the morning we were hospital bound. I got all settled in, I was already dilated to a 4 by then. They started me in pit around 9:00 in the morning and by 10:00 I was dilated to 6 centimeters and SO ready for that fabulous epidural. Unfortunately I was third in line for the good stuff, and had the opportunity to labor naturally for a few hours, which in retrospect was probably a good experience for me, but at the time I was not enjoying it.
After about 15 minutes of pushing, our little man was here. I remember the beautiful moment that the doctor laid him on my stomach and I was finally able to touch his warm skin. I was shaking with adrenaline and trying not to sob with joy. They got him all cleaned up and finally handed him back to me. Jordan held my hand and we had our first moment as a real family, the greatest moment of my entire existence!
Now I must admit that I feel very sentimental about our life before Noah, and there are times that I wish I had savored a little more. I miss feeling him inside of me. His kicks and hiccups and being so close, I wish I had been less concerned with going into labor the last few weeks of my pregnancy, and I wish I had just enjoyed it. I now realize that my next pregnancy won't be the same. Everything was so magical. I was able to take my time, relax, and spend all of my time dreaming about my baby, and rubbing my belly, and most of all, just being with Jordan. The next time I'm pregnant I will be busy tending to Noah, which is okay, it will be it's own kind of magical I'm sure, but I do miss the special days of my pregnancy past.
Even though I miss our lazy days of being just a couple, parenthood suits Jordan and I. I knew I wanted to be a mother since well... for as long as I can remember, and Jordan has always wanted kids, but I definitely feel that I was the one pushing to have one now, Jordan just said sure because he wanted kids, and I wanted them now so why not. I worried often that maybe he was just doing it to make me happy, but as I see him with our son, I know how wrong I was.
I teased him just today about how I ruined him. When we met he was this super stud that played drums in a band, drove a sweet old Cadillac Deville, and didn't have a care in the world. Then he met me and I turned him into a dad. In all seriousness tho, he couldn't be a better father. I catch him just staring at Noah and telling him how handsome he is, and putting all of that blonde hair into a Mohawk.
When Jordan turned 18 he decided to try to find his birth mom. Not that he has ever been unhappy with his parents, he has just always felt this hole in his heart, and wondered about her. After failed attempts to find her he has been hurting. The day we brought the baby home he told me that that hole had now been filled. I cry thinking about how special it is for him to have someone that is his own blood (literally, since Noah has his blood type) and I am so happy that we get to be a family and that Noah is blessed enough to have so many people around him that love him as much as we do. Heavenly father must love us, to have blessed us so fully with our son.
