It's a healthy baby something.

So far, pregnancy has been an adventure, and a fantastically new learning experience, but this week has been the greatest adventure so far. Now that I am in my fifth month of pregnancy, we are far enough along to find out the gender of our baby!

We had heard so many "tricks" to figuring out the gender, before you were 20 weeks. We heard; If you carry high, it's a girl and if you carry low, it's a boy. If the heart rate is above 140 then it's a girl. If your husband gains weight, it's a girl. If you weren't under stress when you conceived, then it's a boy. If you tend to pass gas in your sleep, then it's an orangutan (not really)! After we compared my pregnancy to these.... indicators, we were pretty confident that this baby is a girl, and on top of that, both Jordan and I, just sort of felt that it is a girl.

As the days lead up to the very much anticipated ultrasound, I would look at my ballooning body in the mirror and think about how strange I am starting to look. Since I am carrying so high, my bust and belly nearly merge now, and my waist is completely gone, I look like a lovely little blob in a blue sweater. This would normally upset me, but all I could think about is this precious little baby floating around kicking my kidneys, and it makes my new blob like and shapeless body more than worth it. Part of me wanted to just imagine the baby in my rounding belly as a little girl with Jordan's eyes and my hair, but I knew that it wasn't time for that yet.

Christmas came and went, and finally Tuesday was here. I obediently filled my bladder past capacity, and lay down very uncomfortably on the table. The ultrasound tech tried three times to find the baby's gender, with no luck, our sweet little child is a modest thing and had it's legs very tightly clamped shut, no amount of jiggling or waiting was swaying that modesty. Forty-five minutes had gone by and the tech had seen nearly everything she needed, I had been diligently praying for Heavenly Father to convince this child to just give us a little peak. I wanted so badly to be able to give my baby a name, and an identity more than just "my baby".

Luckily, my prayers were answered and the baby opened its little legs and the sight was unmistakable.

We are having a bouncing baby  BOY.


We were so certain it was a girl that it was a wonderful surprise to see the unmistakable boy parts on the screen, we were ecstatic. Now don't get me wrong, we weren't hoping for one gender over the other, it's our first baby, how could we possibly have a preference yet? All I really wanted to hear was that it was a baby, and it's healthy, but I have to say it is added excitement that I can now picture my SON, Noah, not just some baby.

It even looks like he has my nose. The thought of Jordan sharing his love for music, his unique kindness, and unconditional love for everyone with our little boy, brings tears to my eyes. Thinking of him fishing with my dad, or cooking with my mom, or cuddling with me on the couch. My emotions are indescribable. I have always known, without a shadow of a doubt, that I want to have a family, but the happiness I feel about such an enormous change in our lives, is nothing but reassurance that  we are meant for this. We hope that someday our baby boy with have sisters and brothers, and will be able to share the happiness that an addition to the family brings.

Sensitivity to Infertility

Whether I have said before or not, before becoming pregnant, I had a small battle with infertility. I am a very lucky case, my infertility was being caused by some confused hormones, irregular periods, and MIA eggs. It was easily conquered by some miserable hormone pills that made me feel like I was on fire, and slightly mentally unstable.

 Even though I was easily cured, I still had an emotional battle. My husband and I tried for a baby for about a year before I finally consulted my doctor. I went for my yearly and expressed my concerns, and symptoms to the PA that was in charge of my check up. All she offered me was a round of birth control to get me back on track. That, however, wasn't an option for me. About six month previous to this doctors visit, I was diagnosed with a small tumor on my liver. When Jordan and I first married, I elected to be on the pill for a short while, that time was shorter than even planned. I had a horrible reaction to the pills and stopped taking them after a month. My surgeon suggested that my the small tumor was part of my bad reaction to my short bout with birth control. We have been trying for baby ever since.

 After telling my PA that I didn't dare risk birth control again, she pretty much said... well... tough, guess you aren't getting pregnant. It was the only option I was given. After this emotional experience I was very distraught, and bitter. I felt that I would never get pregnant and it was all the doctors faults, they were stupid, and didn't care to help me. It was close to another year later that my mom finally convinced me to go back to see the DOCTOR, not one of his confused PA's. I did, and he was much more helpful, and a month after my visit to him, we were expecting.

My point in telling all of this is, a few days ago, I stumbled across the blog of a woman who had recently had a battle with infertility, unfortunately for this woman, she had to have in vitro fertilization to have any hope of becoming a mother. She went through two failed attempts, and finally on her third, she was blessed to see those coveted little pink lines.

 In her blog she talked about how, even though she was finally able to realize her dream, she wanted to remain sensitive to those who were still struggling with infertility. She had made a list of what she planned on doing to remain sensitive, this list included:

Do not post your sonogram picture anywhere.

Never talk or post photos about your nursery.

No over the top cutesy-poo nicknames for the baby.

Don’t make every post, tweet, status and conversation about your pregnancy.

Never, ever forget your struggle with infertility or the others who continue to struggle.

I can tell you that, even though my battle was only a short two years in comparison to others, I was bitter and angry with other pregnant women, not because they were sharing their happiness, but because I was jealous, and all I wanted was to be able to share similar joys with them. Every time I saw a sonogram from someone else, It just made the desire stronger. While I do agree with the last two bullets to an extent. Not everything in the world needs to be about your pregnancy, for the first few weeks, that's hard, but eventually excitement becomes controllable. Also, being supportive and conscientious of those who are struggling with infertility should be practiced by everyone, not just those who have had the same struggles.

   The other bullets of this list make me feel sad for this woman. Where is the joy with not being able to share you photos on facebook? I know that I have family all over this country that I want to share these memories with, and that's what I use facebook for. Also, I'm not sure I would want someone on my friends list that made me feel like I couldn't be excited about this. The nickname thing... really? Now that's just silly. Can I not give my dog a cute nickname either?

Here is my own list for being sensitive to those who are struggling with infertility, just a few things that in REALITY, might hurt a struggling mommy's feelings.

♥Don't brag to the world about how fertile you are, that's just gross.
♥Don't act like it's some sort of disease. It's appropriate to ask if they are doing okay, but condolences or pitty are unnecessary.
♥Don't walk on eggshells. It's okay to be happy about your baby, that's what these women want too, just don't rub it in their face that you're preggo and they aren't.

There, three easy rules, don't be gross, don't be awkward, and don't hide your joy. Infertility is a very touchy subject, it's heartbreaking to the one who is struggling, but it's still not fair to ever ask anyone to stop being happy and sharing their joy, just because you're struggling. It still is a two act play. Those who aren't engaged in the battles do need to be aware of those who are fighting, and do what they can to NOT hurt their feelings, but on the other side, those who are struggling need to understand that the world doesn't revolve around their trials. I understand the need to feel bitter, and to cry it out sometimes, so go ahead and do it, it just might help, but don't ask me to be miserable with you.